I know people mean well, but....

Please don't tell me what I'll do or how I'll behave once I have my child.

I know:

• That my beloved dog will not become an outdoor dog just because he happens to bring in dirt from the outside or because he tends to bark at squirrels when he's inside. He's a DOG. I wouldn't have gotten him if I didn't know the implications of it. With the right training, he will be Riley's best friend.


• Likewise, my cats are going NOWHERE. I don't care how many old ladies tell me that they'll 'steal Riley's breath', I know for a fact they won't. Primarily, they're too fat. They can't jump into her crib even if they wanted to.


• I will not allow a baby's nap schedule to dictate my life or the lives of my friends. It's a conscious decision you make, and I recognize that this may lead to some not so pleasant days, but you know what? We'll survive. Millions of parents have for millions of years.


• I will not require that my child be invited to every outing or I will not attend. That's ridiculous. Some events are for adults only, and I'd like to keep having a relationship with my husband that isn't all about the baby. We wouldn't have her if it wasn't for our relationship, and we fully intend to make sure we keep our relationship strong by having date nights and outings.


• We will leave Riley with a babysitter from a young age. She's going to go to daycare, so she'll be used to it. And even if she wasn't in daycare, I personally don't think it's healthy to never leave your child with someone else that you trust. Again, she'll survive.


• I will do my best to breast feed for as long as I can. If I don't like it, I will stop. I have the blessing from the pediatrician, and I'd appreciate not being judged by anyone else. I wasn't breast fed and somehow I managed to get through college, grad school and establish myself in a great career. Now, my mental health is another story for another time......KIDDING.


• We like the idea of biodegradable diapers. And yes, we know how much they cost. We will continue to buy them as long as they work for us, and if that means we have to cut back on other discretionary spending, so be it. Just because others are cheaper, doesn't make them the right choice for us.


• I will not require people to wear a hazmat suit to handle my child. Unless I see someone stick their hand in the toilet or down their pants to scratch their butt immediately before touching my child, I'm going to assume that they're not infected with some deadly virus. And again, she's going to be a daycare baby, so she can't live in a bubble.


• I will not put her in our room to sleep because I'm too lazy to get up and walk the 10 feet to her bedroom when she cries. She has her own room, her own bed, etc., and she'll get used to it. We all will.

So again, I do appreciate people trying to be helpful. However, being the most helpful is allowing me to make my own choices and giving advice when I ask for it, not just offering it up in casual conversation or saying to me 'you'll see....'. Just because it worked for you or didn't work for you doesn't mean the same applies to me. I know that people who have babies already have lots of experience to heed, but I'll know when I need help, and believe me, I'll ask for it. :)